preferences

wishful thinking

May 24, 2014


There was once this lady who is passionate about love, life and destiny. She’s engaged in not-so-many relationship in the past, have had shed tears, overcome restless nights, gone through starring off to nowhere days, have once lost direction but now.. well, who would have thought that she will love again…the last time..

Well anonymously speaking, I have asked for this, I have prayed for this..It's probably not wise to assume but I’d like to confidently say, that this is an answered prayer. This maybe an ended statement but I want to treat this as my last..at least on my end.. (well what if its not?…every relationship is always accompanied by “what if’s.”)


What if he didn’t like/love me at all?
What if he’s just fooling or playing around?
What if he’ll find someone else better than I?
What if he’s eyeing on someone?
What if he’ll fall out of love?
What if we find a lot of differences?
What if in the long run, we find each other not compatible?
What if we don’t jive in ideas and beliefs? 
What if he still loves his ex?
What if he gets fed up by me bein like this and that?
What if I too? and vice versa?


But you know what, even if I enumerate em all and fill out this blog with my paranoia. It will just lead me to being mad, stress, bitter and halfway to insanity.

I may have thought of those but in contrary, my other side bears more weight than the former. I put my trust in Him. Life may seem opposite to what I expect and foresee, I may have a number of fears but God has its own way turn it into excitements, to make everything sweeter regardless the differences... that’s what I see in us.. You are different in many ways but I have learned to love that differences; the mood, the jealousy that I have dealt with, your being indifferent sometimes, you unmindful ways, your physical imperfections, your flaws.. its just amazing how God converts imperfections into something lovable to the eyes of the one who truly loves.. admittedly, I have loved everything in you, your bumpy tummy, your hidden, shy-type biceps and triceps (hahaha), your uneven toes and fingers, lol,,your not so lively hair, flat nose,  your fat face and hmmmm.... chai enough.. hahaha, he might punch me. 

Seriously, despite of too many despites, we will walk it through together, mahal..your footsteps will always be beside mine and wont leave you midway..

I am not to flatter you..Im not a Shakespeare type who will poetically express my love and gratitude .... this is my simple gift to you, my self, my truthfulness and my being true to you.. Him above as my witness.. to treat you as my man..my only man.. strong and mighty ...again, dont take it literal.. grin.


Im not a showy type in my past relationship. Im even afraid to express and show em my appreciation. I would rather keep my pride. . I will rarely make a move to fix or settle an argument..will never ever beg..nah.. but as i aged, i realized that its not healthy. There's no sweeter and thoughtful way than to being true to ourselves, right? 

Who wouldn't want a happy ending, fairy tale like story? My life may not be as such but I want it.............

     ......a happily ever after..... with you!